It's happened. Call the media

At exactly 150 days, 8 hours and 12 minutes, it happened. The doorbell rang. It was not UPS. It was not FedEx. Too late for mail-lady. It was not the gutter salesman. Neighbors exists. Not only do they exist, I guess they party. At least once a year anyway. 150 days. Almost half a year. Half a year wondering what in the hell is wrong with this neighborhood, but 150 days, 8 hours and 13 minutes later, I had a party invite in my hand. Will the world continue to survive?

PS: Want to know what's sad? I only know their last name because they have wireless. SECURED wireless BTW, but savvy enough to name their wireless after themselves. Me? I'd name my wireless network "IMGONNASHOOTYOUALLANDMOVEBACKTOKANSAS" but the damn router wouldn't take it.

Ex-spukes me?

DISTURBING PICTURE WARNING!

My Abby. Poor girl. She chews so hard. She means so well. But sometimes you just have to swallow. It's not pleasant, but it's REQUIRED. And some things are not meant to be swallowed. Like knives for instance. She wasn't feeling well for days, and finally, the TRUTH came out. I wish I had taken a picture of what it was before, blue, fluffy, squeaky (oh, you can't take a picture of sound?), one of her favorites balls. It's gone now, I think she's OK although it took another day to make sure. Poor girl.





PS: Our carpet was white when we bought the house. JUST KIDDING!

Merry Christmas, Damnit.

I vow to get in the mood this year! Last year (the entire year, but mainly the holidays) sucked because we were moving. Has it been a year? Yes. T started her job on December 18th, while she was home for a week over Christmas, we skipped a lot of things, including a tree and lots of presents (had to have SOME!). This year is going to be different. And to get myself in the mood, I stole this from Shelly:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bags for most, but I do both.

2. Real tree or artificial? Fake. And after putting up with the fake tree made in O'Fallon MO for the past 20 years, we just bought a new 9 footer with built in lights.

3. When do you put up the tree? Supposed to be right after Thanksgiving, but we just did it a few days ago (12/09)

4. When do you take the tree down? Before New Years Eve

5. Do you like eggnog? You know, I do, but we don't have it much. Homemade is killer, and I'm looking forward to it this year (you do know it's made with raw eggs right?)

6. Favorite gift received as a child? A Radio Shack Electronics Kit, you could make all sorts of things, buzzers, radio, etc. I think it formed who I am.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? A what?

8. Hardest person to buy for? Hmmmm. My Dad is pretty tough.

9. Easiest person to buy for? When I get in the mode, my honey.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't want to be specific, but thoughtless gifts from certain relatives.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Mail.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story. You'll shoot yer EYE OUT!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I start early, procrastinate, then catch up 2 weeks before. Hey, that's today.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Hell ya.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Prime Rib, covered with salt, thyme and Farmland Cider House Bacon (sponsored by Pop-Tarts!), which I can't find here so hoping someone will overnight a few pounds.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored and blinky! But Noooooooooooooo!

17. Favorite Christmas song? Carol of the bells. I sing bass, "Ding dong, ding dong"

18. Travel for Christmas or stay at home? Stay at home, always. Christmas Eve too.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Doubtful. I won't even try. Can't name the dwarfs either.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star. Dog Toy. Beer can.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We had a tradition, we could open one present on Christmas Eve, and could not come downstairs the next morning until Pop was ready with the camera. And made coffee. I always thought the logic was so that it would keep us busy in the morning. Mom had to approve which present, and it seemed like it was often a book or puzzle. I still like that tradition and we carry it on. Stockings are done after breakfast dishes are cleaned up.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Politics. Merry Christmas is not a political statement. Happy Holidays is fine, but Merry Christmas isn't offensive, and if you think it is, likely YOU are. I hate that you never hear a lot of the songs that have anything to do with God, they've literally disappeared. Or they CHANGE the fricking words! Some companies don't have Christmas off, they have a family day. Whatever. Ho-Ho-Ho is offensive? Take my word for it, Yahoo will have turkeys and crap on Thanksgiving day, but look at how sensitive they will be around the 25th. Will we get a "holiday tree"?

23. What I love most about Christmas? Spending time alone with my honey and pups, eating lots, watching TV and feeling like a family.

24. Do you sleep in on Christmas Day? Nope, never can.

25th: Favorite Christmas cookies: Swedish Creme wafers and Spritz. First one is a family recipe coming soon to a blog near you, the other is a butter cookie, HAS to be colored red & green and not overcooked. Mmmmmmm

First big snow in Reno!

Hill's Pet food Presents The Science Diet Three Dog Blog (partnered with Purina)

I'm *SO* FRICKIN' *sick* of advertising. Junk mail, sales calls, pop ups, SPAM, crap slapped on football players, NASCAR drivers, flyers stuck in my door, kids pushing cleaning products and candy. Hell, the other night a kid showed up at the front door with PAINTINGS! PAINTINGS!? Leave me the HELL alone! Go play Battleship! What sparked this? Well, I'm not so sure how the hell it's so frickin newsworthy, but in the past 24 hours I have heard no more than 3 times that the Reno/Tahoe Open is now the.... (ready?)

THE:

That's just GREAT! What the hell is wrong with companies? This is such a big turn off that I've now got a "who cares" attitude about them building here. Great, more advertising. How long will it be before our driver's licenses are sponsored by Kodak? Our water bills featuring "Brita Water Purification products". Little signs along the highway saying "The fresh air you're breathing thanks to a donation in part by Frebreeze".

I think it started with golf a long time ago, and just snowballed. I remember being annoying by the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic. In KC, they renamed Sandstone Amphitheatre to "The Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre". Think many people call it that?

"Hey Bob! I got tickets to see Rush at Sandstone, ya wanna go grab some chips & beer and go?"

"Hey Bob, I got tickets to see Rush on their new Atlantic Records Snakes & Arrows tour at The Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, wanna go grab some chips by Frito's Quality food products, some Anheuser-Busch Incorporated beer made in St. Louis by skilled midget artisans and make a road trip in my Ford F-150 Eddie Bauer Custom Special edition Extended TL4?"

Yeah..... That's it.

Racing and golf have got to be the worst. I don't think the Indianapolis 500 is pwned yet, but I bet they're working on it. I mean, look at all this crap:

• Allstate 400
• The Red Bull GP
• Budweiser Shootout
• Gatorade Duel 1 (and 2)
• Auto Club 500
• UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400
• Kobalt Tools 500
• Food City 500
• Goody's Cool Orange 500
• Samsung 500
• Subway Fresh Fit 500
• Aaron's 499
• Crown Royal Presents The Jim Stewart 400 (by Depends Adult Diapers)
• Dodge Avenger 500
• Nextel Open
• Coca-Cola 600
• Autism Speaks 400 presented by Visa
• Citizens Bank 400
• Toyota/Save Mart 350
• Lenox Industrial Tools 300
• Pepsi 400
• USG Sheetrock 400 (cause everyone knows racing and sheet rock are LIKE THIS!)

I'm stopping, but the list goes on and on. Isn't it pathetic?

Have you Googled yourself?

I have. Not news to me, but maybe to you, the Silicon Valley Entrepreneurs Conference has been around for years. 15 years ago, Dan Schmidt gave me a flyer. Somewhere I still have it. I also am well aware that SVEC makes networking equipment, just check eBay.

But news to me:

Silicon Valley Engineering Council
Silicon Valley Engineers Club
Sequachee Valley Electric Cooperative
Shenandoah Valley Electric Cooperative
Studies on Voltaire and the Eighteenth Century
Space Vacuum Epitaxy Center
Synsmash Vortex Elite Crew
Sichuan Video Electronic CO
SeaDataNet Virtual Educational Centre
Spatial Vector ElectroCardiograph
Shree Vidyaniketan Engineering College
Sacramento Valley Education Committee
Sacramento Valley Environmental Water Caucus
Shenandoah Valley Emmaus Community
Scottish Vocational Education Council
Spatially Varying Exposure and Color
Surprise Valley Electrification Corp

That's right, that's right! Svec is COOLER than ever!

And you thought it just meant 'shoe maker'. HA!

My kind of story (Thanks to Unca Frank & Ant Judith)

I'm not going soft, but sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, and this one truly is amazing. Enjoy.

In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. Were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, rapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Mixed Nuts

The Movie. What a disappointment.

Steve Martin is probably one of my idols, if someone were actually to ask me who my idols were and I was given a chance to think about it. He's brilliant. His early stand up comedy rolled me back in my teenage years. Later on, just more funny. Check out this. It seems like he was on Saturday night live forever, but really not a lot. He was just so damned funny it's memorable. His books, if you've not read them, are a quick read and a joy. Search for him on Amazon and you'll be amazed at what all he's been involved in. He's funny, he writes, he directs, he acts, he plays the banjo like a cat-outta-hell. Kinda funny he plays with "The Rock Bottom Remainders" which includes another coupla favorite authors, Stephen King, Greg Isle, Scott Turow, Matt Groening and Dave Barry amoung others. Read "Dear Amanda", cracks me UP! Who's Francisco? To hear him read this on books on tape is the best. And he's not young either, I bet a lot of people peg him in the 40s. Try 60s. Look here for when he was young messing with the Smother's Brothers.

But man does he make some bad movies. Or maybe my sense of humor is weak. I had my hopes up with all the stars in this gem. Madeline Kahn, Juliette Lewis, Rob Reiner, Adam Sandler, Rita Wilson, Garry Shandling, Steven Wright, and good old Parker Posey!! WHO? I even spotted Haley Joel Osment. But what crap. Bad acting, a story that went no where and I barely cracked a smile. Tracy went to bed Steve, TO BED! I rate this up with Napoleon Dynamite and Dude, Where's my Car. Sorry Steve. Love ya, hope ya haven't forgotten my number, but this sucked.

This will be the last letter I write to you.

Milestone?

This week seems like PROGRESS! I think it's mainly cause the last POD has been here, is now empty and now gone (*note), but all of a sudden feels like a big hurdle has been jumped over. All my STUFF is in one state! Add to that I've turned on Amazon and have started receiving orders, and I've started forming a game plan on listing things on eBay. I also moved my office out of the mudroom, which in hindsight felt so cold and temporary. Not really much to blog about, now looking forward to when it ALL feels like HOME.

* Didn't even hear them come and take it! Walked outside, it was GONE!

My neighbors are GREAT!

I'm just kidding, I wouldn't know, I've barely met any. Honestly, I've talked more to Jesús, the guy that cuts the grass across the street, than I have almost ALL my neighbors. There's always exceptions, the neighbor facing our backyard came over last night and tried to sell me on some travel agency pyramid/multi-level marketing crap. That killed 20 minutes.

It's made me start to wonder, is this normal? You know how you have some friends that always want to kiss on the cheek and it's just not you and feels awkward? The guy that always, ALWAYS shakes your hand? Maybe it's the thing here, maybe everyone around us is wondering why WE haven't come over, had an open house, whipped out the Welcome Mat. We must be cold-clammy-keep-to-ourselves weirdoes.

My gripe about mortgage companies

When I was "a kid", on my first house, I was annoyed that my mortgage was sold 3 or 4 times willy-nilly, but I wrote it off as me not having great credit at the time and being a first time mortgage owner. And I got over it and went on with life. When I bought my 2nd house, I went with local Cap Fed and had it set up with my accounts for autopay, never even considered that they'd sell it and they didn't. I like Cap Fed. Still do. Too bad it's only in the Midwest.

When you are looking, mortgage companies act like they're your best friend. What a crock. Just like a lot of industries, they just want your money, and the salespeople just want their commissions. We went with CTX, for no real good reason except on the advice of our realtor, but I won't use them again, and won't recommend them. Why? It's all "standard practices" and crap like that, but it gets so IMPERSONAL about something so important. Within a month or two, they sold off our 2nd mortgage to Countrywide. Did I have a say in this? No. Did someone call me up and go "Mr Svec? Get your wife on the phone will ya, we want to see if it's OK if we sell off your mortgage. No? Not OK. Oh, I understand, we won't do it then". Hell no. Not even close, just a letter saying it's been done. It happens all the time, your letter says so. Matter of fact it's "common practice". Well thanks a lot asswipes, now I have to:

1. Send in a 2nd payment in another envelope (that'll be about $50 in postage over the term of the 8 year loan)
2. Monitor a 2nd companies terms & timelines
3. Simply DEAL with TWO now. Now I'm on TWO mailing lists too, and already gotten tons of junk mail from both stupid companies wanting me to buy insurance and refinance.

And another gripe. Don't they want my money? Fricking CTX charges $20 to make an autopayment on their site. $20!!!! I'm doing all the damn work, why do they get MORE for it?!?!? So we send in a check.

But back to the transferring. They did it again. We're barely 6 months in to our loans and now CTX has sold the main one off to Chase. You know that's just great. Do *I* have a choice in this? Hell no. Can I do ANYTHING without paying a fee? Nope!! If I wanted to go with my local bank, I'd have to pay all sorts of costs, appraisal, closing, blah blah. Absolutely not fair. The letter says "This is a common practice in the mortgage industry and has no effects on the terms & conditions". Yeah, while that may be true, it's impersonal and aggravating. This is October 17th and it's affective with my Nov 1st payment. What if I was out of town? What if I had it auto-paid through MY bank (not CTX)? What if I had already sent it? HUH? HUH?

It's common practice to spit your used gum out the window, but that doesn't make it right.

It's common practice to leave a Mexican restaurant as quickly as possible if you've overflown the toilet, but that doesn't make it right.

Frankly, it just pisses me off. They do it for one reason, and one reason only, so they can make money.

Just feelin' GOOD!

I probably have a thousand mini movies of my pups. Finding old ones brings back memories. Almost to the day, this was 5 years ago just months before Roscoe went to the world of endless treats and tennis balls, our October 2002 trip to take him to the ocean. OK, OK, we went and saw my aunt & uncle in PA for the first time in 10 years too, and saw another aunt & uncle in Annapolis, and went to DC, and picked up a pinball machine along the way, and stayed at some B&Bs, and visited Tracy's brother. But the main IDEA of the trip was to take my boy to see the ocean. Amber liked the water better, but he was happy, and that was my goal in life at the time. Good boy.

How do I run in to the weirdoes?

I'm an eBay Trading Assistant. All that means is I flagged myself on eBay and wrote up a little paragraph on how I can help YOU (you computer illiterate weasel) sell your stuff. For a fee. I always thought it was a bit ironic, first off, to find me, you have to have a computer. Second, you have to be smart enough to look on eBay for a TA. I guess there are plenty of people still that just can't handle it, as evident by some of the people that contact me.

About three weeks ago, I got an email: "i have equestrian equipment, 1st ed signed books and custom clothes. please contact", and so I did. I first checked to make sure I had changed my locale to NV, and I had but didn't want to waste anyone's time if they thought I was still in KC. I asked where they were located, again not wanting to drive 45 minutes south for junk, and got a reply: "4th street near 395. can you do this?". Sure I can, and I let them know I'd like to meet, see what they have, etc and go from there.

I had done this a few times in KC and from experience, know that the majority of STUFF they want to sell is not worth much. One guy brought me about 10 things to "try out", half did not sell, the other half only got $10-$20. Another guy had a lot of decent books, videos and CDs, which are easy to list and sell on Amazon, so I take those when I get them. Again we're talking small dollars here, but the books & vids take very little time to list and ship, and once in awhile you get a gold nugget. I also worked my butt off on taking pics, wording and and prepping to list a pop-up camper, but the dude thought it was worth way more then I researched, and realized that if I sold it, I'd be taking a cut (which I lowered from my other stuff, but still money he wouldn't see). He changed his mind after the work I did and sold it on his own. Think he'll get his old crappy books back I never listed? Nah.

Anyway! Asking for a phone number and address for this new guy got some strange replies: "I really do not have a phone number right now. In all actuality, the sooner this could happen - the better...so if Sunday might work? I know these things take time (and no... lol this stuff isnt hot) still, I'm at the Sandman Motel at 1755 E. 4th"

Hot? Who said anything about being hot? Why would you bring THAT up? And Hotel? OK, getting a little weird. Without replying, I get another email: "I vacated my last apt due to an illness and now Im selling the last of my stuff before I head out to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota next week. That simple. Its not weird or stolen and if you want, I can have this verified by the Reno PD."

Now I'm curious, but also a heckuva lot more hesitant on doing anything. To see how serious this dude is, I ask for pictures. Response? "im not giving out anymore inventory lists or pics due to three other ebay sellers jerking me around and then asking wayyyyyyy too many questions. i know what i need and as an ebay seller, i respect your business process. a visit to see this stuff would be worth your time. say tuesday afternoon? sorry about it, but ive been burned too many times in reno already. if no, i appreciate your time in advance. peace "

Uh huh. I'm not sure how sending pics could transpire in to jerking him around, and not sure what business processes of mine he respects, but I kindly told him I didn't' want to waste my time on junk, and if he had pics and could send them, I'd consider a visit. I also made it very clear that anything I was going to sell, I'd take with me, and I'd bring a simple contract so he would feel more comfortable about me taking his stuff. And then he DID send pictures (has a digital camera too eh?). It was horse stuff for sure, and looked like some of it would sell OK.

One of the last two emails I got from him increased my uneasiness: "i dont know if this will work but Sir.. i you knew what was going on in my lie then you would understand. it's not weird... sounds sketchy i know; but if you fear this transaction ask a police officer to accompany you. i'm doing my best with the tools i have... God has done this for me for a reason; and yes with a receipt of you taking the items then i would trust you. otheriwse the items get thrown away and destroyed and thats money gone for you and i. please... work with me. "

I don't know what ever happened, because I never heard from him again. We set a date for Tuesday, but having no way to contact him, I sent one email asking how and didn't bother following up when I didn't hear back. I'm sure he truly has issues and if serious, I feel for him.

Snow?

(Totally forgot to post this and now it's been a coupla weeks.)

A coupla days after we had snow in the mountains, it was a late Friday night, chilly and about 11PM I walked out to....

SNOW!

OK, not a lot of snow, and not even sticking anywhere on the ground, but still SNOW! It was just 90 degrees out, and I JUST mowed the front yard that same day. What kinda weird-ass whacky place is this!

My Favorite COPS quotes

I have never been able to pinpoint exactly why I like watching shows like COPS, America's Most Wanted, Most Amazing, Judge Judy, Jerry, etc etc. It has something to do with observing how STUPID people are I think. COPS plays quite often on Court TV, so much so that in a few days, I better watch my TIVO or I'm gonna run out of space. It's good background noise too, if I'm in there cooking, it's an easy show to listen too while I work. I know she won't admit it, but Tracy likes it a bit too, especially the 1 minute clips of the truly memorable moments, such as:

• Put it in da paper! Put it in da paper!!
• What did I did?

I love the blank, dumb, I'm So Innocent look on some perps faces, very bad actors in most cases. More of my favorite quotes & moments:

• I wuz scared (always in response to "Why were you running?"
• That's not mine! (Mary Jane in the wallet, crack pipe, gun, etc)
• I'm not gonna lie to you (or) Why would I lie?
• I don't have nuthin' on me. (it's in the bushes where I threw it)
• "So you haven't been smoking any weed?"... "No, why would you say that?" (Guy has a joint behind his ear in plain sight. Whoops! Forgot! Silly me!
• And one of my favorite action adventures was when this idiot had about 20 police cars behind him, as if he's going to get away! Happens to be in Kansas City:

More weather talk....

It's as weird as KC, but different. Yesterday it hit mid 70s, today 80 and this is what I can see from my back yard, best to enlarge it:

Yeah, that's snow in the mountains. SNOW! Officially it was there on the last day of summer, can you believe it? The pups love snow about as much as they love the water, and I can't wait for true winter weather to arrive. Biggest bummer is I don't have a wood burning fireplace, but I'll survive. The gas one puts out a nice ambiance, and maybe as I get older I'll realize what I was doing was a LOT of work. Satisfying work though.

Weird weather

All of a sudden the weather here is reminding me of Kansas.

Don't like it? Wait a minute!

A week or so ago it was in the 90s near every day and it had been hot since the day I got here. The other day about 9PM I opened the door and WTF? It's RAINING? Tracy gets a little excited and tells me to grab the cooler and put it under the eave to catch the water. Sure enough, it filled it half way full (water for the garden, filthy too. All that dirt running off the roof). The next day it's still cloudy and I hear something about chains required at elevations above 7000 feet, that's Lake Tahoe. Already??? We went from 90 to snow in a week? Sheesh. And I guess it's true, while it reached mid 70s yesterday and is already 60 here and it's still mid morning, I've heard of 6" to a foot of snow in the "Sierras". Absolutely weird. The lows every day for the next week are upper 30s, highs in the mid 70s. Great sleeping weather, but doubt we'll be taking the dogs swimming soon.


Last weekend:
Oh look! A Chicken!

Throw the ball, will ya dad?

Drying out:

My helicoptor is bigger than your helicopter, NYAH NYAH

I wasn't going to bitch about this, cause I've been accused of being fairly negative and bitchy, but I am what I am so I'm GONNA! Let me start by saying I've found that overall the people here in Reno/Sparks are pretty friendly and helpful. I've got more than one story about people going out of their way to help, suggest, advise or just discuss something with me unexpectedly. The earliest example is when I was still in KC and Tracy was wanting to hire someone to do our yardwork cause she was working so much. I emailed a friendly person that had come to look at our playground, asking if she knew of any neighborhood dudes that cut lawns. Guess what? She did it for us! She hauled over her mower MORE than once and cut our lawn, fer nuthin'!! And after that, allowed Tracy to come borrow her lawn mower too! What a nice gesture. (I still need to meet her.)

But not this dude. A few weekend's ago we were exploring, going up & down the Truckee River looking for dog swimming areas. Out by Verdi (Ver DIE) we came across a little subdivision right along the river, which happened to be having a neighborhood garage sale too. It was Sunday, so not many participating, but we still managed to hit a few. On the way out, an old GEEZER was at the end of his driveway and had a large gas powered helicopter on a stand that he was about to put away. Could he be selling? Could he be closing up his garage sale? Nah, I doubt it. Those things are expensive and this looked like a big one. But what the heck, it's a neighborhood garage sale, right? Beautiful day, sunny, blue skies, nice driving weather.... I roll up and roll down the window and:

That thing for sale??
(Grumpy look on his face) You couldn't afford it sonny.
(Me, a bit smart alecky) Now, how do you know how much money I have in my pocket?
(Almost angry look!) Do you know how much this costs? This is over $20,000 and is worth more than your car. To give you an example (of what I don't know) I own a Boeing Bell Blah T-206, costs me 1.5 million.

Goodie for you scooter. Take some of your money and buy a personality. I'm not even sure how the conversation ended, but we didn't talk much more and I drove away. What an ass. It struck a little nerve, and probably always will when people PRESUME things about you, your lifestyle and your financial situation. I've lived with that a lot, especially since I've gone self employed, which to many means "doesn't work". For all he knew, I was a bulti-zillionaire. It's the same thing to hear how "lucky" you are, let's ignore the hard work we've done, we're "lucky"!!

Lucky I tell you!

I want to (HIC!) ride my bicycle (HIC!)

I simply HAD to do it. Had to!!!

Butta, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING!???!!?

I'm sorry, but WHAT THE HELL?!?!

They changed the size of BUTTER?

Or is this a West coast thing? Did they get Bill Gates in on it? You know, make a change that EVERYONE will have to conform to even though it doesn't make it better? Did they take a survey? Do studies? Testing? Gave a rats ass about all the BUTTER DISHES out there? IT DON'T FIT my DISH MAN!!!!! You know, they still sell hot dogs in a 10 pack, and buns in an 8. They can't fix that but some f-ing genius has convinced the butter patrol to revamp the size of sticks. Help me man, what am I missing?!?!?!?!?!